Reading, Writing and Sex Education

apple bookSay it with me vagina, vagina, vagina, penis, penis, penis. We all remember the scene from Varsity Blues where the health teacher encourages the students to stop using slang words for their sex organs.  This may be a funny scene but I think it is a serious matter.  Starting sex education in high school is way too late!.

A new study from Georgetown University’s Institute for Reproductive Health shows that when parents and schools invest in teaching children about sexual and reproductive health kids internalize the lessons for decades.

Now the debate will start of how young is too young?  I say start in Kindergarten.  I am not suggesting we teach 6 year olds about birth control pills, but they do need to know the right names for their body parts.  This is a vagina and this is a penis. Not this is your wee-wee and this is your pee-pee.  When we encourage kids to use nicknames for their sexual body parts we are just making the real words shameful and dirty.  We also need to start educating these children on healthy relationships, and effective communication. IF we start this early, by the time they get in high pressure situations they will feel comfortable and have the tools to communicate how they feel and what they want to do.  If we start talking about all aspects of  sexual health at an early age then it stops it from being so taboo and makes it more natural.

As children progress into elementary school we need to start discussing growth and development.  In my opinion waiting until 6th grade to talk about puberty is too late!  Some kids develop earlier than others, so let’s start the discussion early.  Kids need to know about puberty and what to expect, it is not benefiting anyone to talk to them after the fact.  As a sex educator, schools invite me to teach puberty to their 5th and 6th grade classes.  When talking to the boys, you should see the relief in their eyes when I discuss with them what  wet dreams are, and how it is normal! I wonder how long these boys have been living in fear and embarrassment because they think they are wetting the bed, or are scared because their penis gets hard sometimes and they think something is wrong with them.  Kids deserve to know what is going to happen to them.

Once they reach junior high it is time to talk about STD prevention, pregnancy prevention, communication, and body image.  It is not enough to just talk about abstinence and condoms. We need to give kids the tools on how to communicate that they do not want to have sex, or how to bring up that they want to use a condom. Plenty of teens have told me that they know they should you a condom, but they do not know how to bring it up with their partner.

Talking about sex is not going to encourage children to have sex. Talking about it will encourage kids to reach out to a trusted adult if they have a question. Talking about it will make it easier for kids to talk about it with their peers. It will help them bring up the topics of STD and pregnancy prevention before they have sex.  In a world where kids have Google at their fingertips, wouldn’t we rather have them ask what masturbation is then look it up online?  It is time to stop making sex a taboo subject. Our youth deserve to have comprehensive sex education so they can become educated and health adults.

Knocking on the Backdoor

ButtI have been doing some reading on men’s health sites regarding the topic of anal sex. These sites are packed with tips on how to convince your girlfriend to have anal sex.  First off, if you have to convince someone to do something sexual, then you should not be doing it. I am a strong believer of no means no, not try and convince me. These tips are not thought out, and are definitely written by men who know nothing about woman.   I found the top three tips that are sure to fail, and added  commentary on why failure is inevitable.

Tip 1: Your girlfriend will most likely be concerned with the mess that anal sex may make on her Egyptian Cotton sheets. You should suggest laying down a plastic mattress cover over the bed. You could even splash some lube on it to make it a slippery adventure!

Yes please take me back to my potty training days. It is so erotic how the plastic sheets stick to my sweaty skin. Go ahead and cover that plastic in lube. We all know how great it feels when you are slipping around with a dick in your butt!  FAIL!

Tip 2: Watch some porn before you do the dead.  Find a scene where the girl is really enjoying it from behind.  This will show you girl that anal sex can be orgasmic!

Newsflash these girls are acting!  Yep, sorry to crush your fantasies but every moan from this girl is for the camera not from the dick.  They are getting paid to act like they enjoy butt sex! Hey if you want to give me $5,000 to act like I like booty bumping that’s great, at least I can buy a new butt hole when were done.  FAIL!

Tip 3: When you are doing her doggy style sneakily slip into her other hole. She will be so surprised and aroused she won’t make you stop.

  Every woman who has ever had sex and survived the accidental slip knows that the first thing we feel is not aroused.  The natural reaction to this is to curl up in fetal position as you guard your clenched and aching butt hole.  Trust me guys, if you slip into her other hole without permission, you are going to be sleeping on the couch. FAIL!

So guys, next time you want anal sex from your girl, just ask how she feels about it.  If she says no, respect her. If you try to convince her you will just become a pain in the ass.

Popping My Cherry

Cherry

 

I remember when I first realized that I wanted to be a sex educator.  I was 11 years old and  was secretly watching The Sunday Night Sex Show.  If you have not seen this show, you are missing out.  Every night viewers would call  good old Sue Johanson, a Canadian sex educator who was well into her 70’s, and they would ask her  for sex advice.  Questions would range from what lubrication to use for fisting, to how to convince someone to use a strap-on.  I remember there was a segment called the Pleasure Chest. This was a part of the show where Johanson would review different sex toys.  During this particular episode Sue pulled out a huge, black, vibrating dildo from her pleasure chest and started reviewing it.  As I watched her wrinkled, and age spotted hand grasp onto that big, veined, pulsating, rubber dick I was not grossed out or appalled, like most 11 year old should be, I was curious and engaged.  She talked about this dildo like she was reviewing a new vacuum cleaner. She was very up front, and nonchalant. This was so interesting to me. I rarely heard adults talk about sex like it was not taboo. Right then and there I wanted to know more about sex. I wanted to talk about sex like she did. She was officially my Canadian idol.  After that night I started watching Sue as much as I could.  I started to  read human sexuality books at the library, and I used my families slow desktop computer to look up as much sexual health information as I could.  To this day the sound of dial up internet gets me excited.  I became a young sex expert before I knew it.  I was an 11 year old who was ready to take the world by its big, black, pulsating balls and start my journey to become a sex educator.

 

17 years later I am doing what I set out to do. I am a sex educator. I attended college, did a practicum at a local Planned Parenthood, and graduated college. A few years later I landed my dream job teaching sexual health in the community I grew up in.  I actually get paid to talk about sex! I don’t know why when I was 11 years old I decided to pass on watching the  relationship of Cory and Topanga , and instead opted to watch an old lady talk about the benefits of kegel exercises, but I am so glad I did.